So I came pretty close to having my leg cut off last Saturday. Not to be dramatic or anything. But it’s true.
Instead, however, I ended up with two breaks in my femur and a super intense gash that was mended by super intense stitches and will one day be a super intense scar.
I like scars. They’re great conversation starters. And are typically attached to a pretty cool story. And, let’s be real, make you look like a badass.
The broken femur part isn’t so great. But I suppose it is relatively cool to have a titanium rod in my leg forever. And it’s hard to be upset about a broken leg when I’m aware of how close I came to not having a leg at all.
But, all this to say, I was thinking about prosthetic legs today and decided to do some research. Primarily because I was interested. Also because I can’t walk and took an incomplete in all my classes, thus, have plenty of free time for things like this. I would like to blog soon about the really wonderful things the Lord is teaching me through this experience. It would probably be a better use of my time and my blog. However, it’s 8:00 in the morning and I’m feeling the effects of the Percocet a bit so I am choosing to write about something much more ridiculous: prosthetics.
The first documented use of prosthetics dates back to the second Punic War. After losing his right hand in battle, a Roman general named Marcus Sergius had a replacement hand that could hold his shield fashioned out of iron so he could return to the fight. Now that’s a man.
A little over a decade ago, researchers reported finding the oldest prosthetic body part still existing – a toe made of wood and leather circa 950 BC. I hate feet. So it kinda grosses me out. But I’m sure whoever was the recipient of said toe, was very glad to have it.
Needless to say, the field of prosthetics has come a pretty long way from wood and leather. The technology of artificial body parts today literally blows my mind. I can’t imagine what a blessing these advances must be for people who rely on prosthetics.
But it’s just kind of a crazy idea. Lose one body part, replace it with a fake one. Who was the first guy to think of that? Maybe it really was that Roman general. But maybe not. It could have been some caveman – lost his foot to a bear or something and made a new one out of stone. Perhaps not the most functional material to use but they didn’t know a whole lot back then. Aside from the whole discovering fire thing.
Or hell, it could’ve been Adam. Maybe Genesis 51 would have been all about Adam losing an arm and Eve fashioning him a new one. She seemed pretty crafty. And I bet the whole “I grew you out of a rib” thing could have somehow been the catalyst for thoughts of prosthetics. Maybe she felt she owed it to Adam to build him a new arm after leading him to sin and all that. You know, “Girl is formed from Boy’s rib. Boy loses arm. Girl causes fall of mankind. Girl builds boy a new arm.”
Either way, it’s all pretty interesting. Without prosthetics, our world would be a different place. Pirates – totally not the same. Captain hook? No hook. Peg legs? (Which is what my roommate says I sound like when I’m crutching through the house) Not a chance.
But seriously, I don’t mean to make light of it. Well I do, but not entirely. If you find yourself bedridden for a few weeks, or just bored and procrastinating, go to http://www.prostheticscience.com and see what all is available now. It’s incredible.
And before you know it they’ll be growing body parts from stem cells on the reg. and even the things of that website will be obsolete. Break one leg, grow another. I wonder if you’ll have to shave those…
Anyway, these are my thoughts for the day. I should probably try to do something productive. Or at least just stop writing this before I offend someone.
Maybe I’ll read a book.