It’s 1:15 in the morning.

I should probably be asleep.

But I’m not.

Today was my last day at camp.  Tomorrow I’m driving back to Alabama.  And tonight, I can’t sleep.

I would really like to write about camp.  And everything that has happened over the past three months.

And about the people I’ve been living with.  And the lessons I’ve learned.  And the freedom I’ve experienced.

I would really like to put into words what this summer has meant to me.

And I would really like to do so eloquently and effectively.

But it’s just not going to happen. Maybe not ever.  But definitely not tonight.

There is still so much to be processed.  So many thoughts to be categorized.  So many truths to be put into words.  And if this year is anything like the last, it will be months before I realize just how much the Lord taught me this summer at camp.

So instead I will simply rejoice that the Lord is making me new.

Leaving Tyler tonight I was literally weeping at simply the thought of how undeserving we are of the love of our Savior.  And yet through trials and rebuke and hardships and brokeness and laughter and friendships and community and triumphs, He continues to show his relentless, furious love for us every single day.  It just makes no sense.  But that’s the beauty of the gospel.  And this summer, I learned that more intimately than ever before.

So thank you, Lord, for all that you’ve done – thank you for pursuing us when we don’t pursue you – thank you for being faithful when we are faithless – and thank you for loving us.

We are so unworthy.

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